They Say that there is a Lot of Fish in the Sea but I Want this Specific One

They Say that there is a Lot of Fish in the Sea but I Want this Specific One

DeAndrea Sneed, Olytimes writer

I hate seeing him with another female. I hate not knowing what he’s doing. I hate not knowing who he is with. I hate that he’s not with me. I hate that he thinks someone else is the one. I hate that he thinks I’m not the one. I want him. I love him. I believe I am the one. I want a part of him to believe I’m the one. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Love. Is it actually real? Or is it just another form of obsession? I believe I am obsessed with this person. Maybe it’s not love. Could I just be delusional over this person? I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m ready to hurt people over him. All my feelings are because of him. I’m angry. I’m depressed. I’m sad. I cry every morning. I think about him every day. I stay up all night. I can’t love anyone else. My other relationships don’t work cause me and his memories never leave my head. Sometimes I see that he pays attention to my life. Sometimes I see he doesn’t want me. I have the craziest thoughts in my head. They say that there is a lot of fish in the sea but I want this specific one. I’ve been in his life for 5 years. What else could I do to let him see? He’ll never see. Nobody makes me feel this way. Nobody else is capable of making me feel this way. I tried keeping myself busy to keep my mind off of him. It didn’t work. I tried to be in relationships with other people. It didn’t work. I tried blocking him/unadding him. I ended up adding him again. I must focus now. If I wanna graduate I need to let him go. It’s hard to do schoolwork because he distracts my thoughts. If I put all the energy I have for him into school I can graduate on time and be the successful woman I want to be.